The Weekend Property and Construction Newsletter

Saturday 29 June 2002
Circulation : exceeds 1,100 subscribers
Property and Construction related articles featured on the Internet for the past week brought to you by www.asaqs.co.za .
News specific to the quantity surveying profession is reflected at the bottom of this newsletter. Click on the blue headline if you wish to read the full article on the Internet.
Past issues of this newsletter can be found at http://www.asaqs.co.za/news/

INDEX
Construction and Development News
Retail Roundup
Housing News and Land Issues
News from Africa
Mining News
News for Estate Agents and Home Owners
Property Links
The Agent's tool kit
Building Terms
Special Reports
Economic Indicators
ASAQS News
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CONSTRUCTION AND DEVELOPMENT NEWS
 

Sectional title in trouble
SERIOUS problems are emerging in the sectional title property industry, in which schemes are devised to simplify home ownership in a shared common property, such as townhouses and apartments. The problems in old sectional title schemes, in which debt and neglect led to a massive destruction of value in city centres, are now emerging in new suburban residential developments across the country. Some new schemes are fast piling up debt, a situation that is becoming untenable, according to industry spokesmen.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Petrochem giant's R13,2bn capex plan
South Africa's petrochemical giant, Sasol, will be investing R13,2-billion this year, R12,2-billion of which will be ploughed into more than 71 projects in Southern Africa, making it the largest individual industrial spender in the region.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Sasol considers investment in Iran
A MAJOR investment is being considered in a $1bn gas-to-liquid fuel plant in Iran, says Sasol executive director Pat Davies. He was briefing the media yesterday on the opening of a à 20m catalyst plant in The Netherlands, which is a joint venture between Sasol and US catalyst specialist Engelhard.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Catalytic plant shows gas-to-liquids intent
The first physical manifestation of the commitment of fuels and chemicals giant Sasol to the pursuit of a serious gas-to-liquids (GTL) business emerged yesterday with the opening of a new catalyst facility at De Meern near Utrecht in the Netherlands.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Dow SA to dispose of noncore businesses
DOW SA plans to dispose of four noncore business clusters as it comes to the end of a five-year restructuring period that followed the acquisition by Dow International of the former Sentrachem in 1997, according to Dow's local acting CE Duncan Blackburn. He said that the four divisions were the last remaining noncore businesses within the old Sentrachem, following the recent agreement to dispose of Dow's mining chemicals, detergent raw materials, and synthetic rubber operations.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Projects could help revive Jo'burg CBD
TWO development projects launched this month could put the Johannesburg central business district (CBD) on its way to recovery. A R17,1m project providing residential accommodation for rental, called Elangeni, was launched by the Johannesburg Housing Company, JP Morgan and Absa Bank. Situated at the corner of Troye and Albert Streets behind Absa's offices in the CBD, Elangeni provides 168 units, with rents ranging between R800 and R1500 a month.
(©www.bday.co.za)

R350m Freedom Park work to start in 2003
Construction is expected to start next year on a 54-ha multidimensional heritage site on the outskirts of Pretoria, to be known as Freedom Park.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Aids damns Gauteng's water development
Although Gauteng and its environs are unlikely to require additional water sources for the next 25 years, the Department of Water Affairs and Forestry (Dwaf) will, within the coming 18 months, finalise outstanding investigations into the proposed multibillion-rand Thukela water project.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Joburg on track with free-power plan
Johannesburg is on track to provide residents with 50 kWh of free electricity by July 1, confirmed mayor Amos Masondo during his budget speech in May.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Ekurhuleni council to table R8,4bn budget
EKURHULENI metropolitan council mayor Duma Nkosi will today table an R8,4bn budget for the 2002-03 financial year, with more than R1bn of the funds being set aside for capital projects. The budget statement, which will be read at the council's Alberton chambers, also has good news for property owners in Brakpan, Springs and Nigel who will see their property rates decreasing from 19c in a rand to 9,6c, from 12c to 9,6c and from 16c to 9,6c in a rand, respectively.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Scorpions ordered to probe councils
PRESIDENT Thabo Mbeki has ordered the special investigating unit the Scorpions to investigate wideranging allegations of corruption and maladministration in five Western Cape councils.
He authorised the probe in a proclamation published in the Government Gazette yesterday.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Spoornet executives' day of reckoning
TODAY marks the start of Transnet's disciplinary inquiry into alleged wrongdoing in a property deal by Spoornet CEO Zandile Jakavula and Chain Vilakazi, head of property management at the rail utility. The probe will be held over four days, and is to be presided over by Nazeer Cassim, a senior counsel.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Protea Hotels takes brand to the African continent
THE first place a cautious traveller will head for when he arrives in an African country of which he knows little will be a familiar name like Hilton, Holiday Inn or Protea Hotels. Travel within Africa is a big potential market, but it is not as great as the Stats SA figures for African arrivals in SA suggest.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Finland gives R10m for World Summit
THE Finland government has contributed R10m towards the financing of logistical support for the upcoming World Summit on Sustainable Development to be held in Johannesburg in August. The contribution is expected to help meet the summit's bill, estimated to run to R551m.
(©www.bday.co.za)

World summit is too important to fail'
THE World Summit on Sustainable Development has to succeed because at stake are issues that determine the survival of human beings, says Jon Bech, Norwegian ambassador to SA
(©www.bday.co.za)

Liberty gets £211m loan facility for expansion
LIBERTY International, the Britishbased property company with a secondary listing on the JSE Securities Exchange SA, has secured a £211m loan facility from finance house HVB Real Estate Capital to finance its expansion. Through subsidiary Capital Shopping Centres, Liberty International hopes to make significant gains through lower interest costs with this 12-year facility, which is better than a "conventional nonrecourse secured bank loan".
(©www.bday.co.za)

Acbo to become sole distributor for US concrete technology
BLACK-owned civil engineering company Acbo Services has signed a partnership deal with US-based company Surtreat International as sole distributors in Africa of a product and technology that stops the corrosion of concrete and is able to reverse the corrosion process.
(©www.bday.co.za)

City sorting out errors
"WITH regard to recent articles relating to the general valuation of property and the rates and tariffs policy, we would to appeal to ratepayers to make use of the official channels set up to redress their concerns. The property valuation was possibly one of the most ambitious projects of this nature ever undertaken by the city. In the main, it has been successful with the majority of property owners satisfied with the results." says Mike Richardson, General Valuation Project Manager, City of Cape Town
(©www.bday.co.za)

Redefine to begin West Cape expansion
THE expansion of Redefine Income Fund into the Western Cape is to be managed entirely by Solomon Brothers Property Holdings. This follows a deal in which Solomon Brothers sold six Cape Town properties as well as 20-million linked units in Arnold Property Fund to Redefine for about R133m.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Shops for Africa now in Eastern Cape
SHOPS for Africa, the property loan stock company focused on the retail sector, has made its debut in Eastern Cape by buying a Port Elizabeth shopping centre, Clearly Park, for R52,6m from BoE.Shops for Africa fund manager Anton Botha says the transaction, to be concluded through a combination of cash and paper, was a statement of confidence from BoE.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Northern Cape project gets funds
AUSTRALIAN junior miner Mineral Commodities has gained final approval that should lead to the company securing a R18m investment from the SA Export and Development Fund to develop a R225m minerals project in Northern Cape. The company said that the backing of the fund was key and would underpin the funding and development of the Xolobeni minerals sand project on SA's east coast, 200km from Durban.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Input on energy policy urged
PRETORIA Minerals and Energy Minister Phumzile Mlambo-Ngcuka released the draft white paper on the Promotion of Renewable Energy and Clean Energy Development for public comment on Friday.
(©www.bday.co.za)

US steel protection helps SA's exporters
MEASURES to protect the US steel industry have provided a windfall for SA exporters, who have enjoyed a 45% rise in the prices for which they can sell their steel in the US market, according to new research.
(©www.bday.co.za)

R1,5-billion Cape golf estate tees off
Construction of the first nine holes at the R1,5-billion Pearl Valley Signature Golf Estate and Spa in the Western Cape is on track for completion by October.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

'Steel industry lacks Coega strategy'
It is a ‘great pity’ the steel industry does not yet have a strategy on how to deliver the fabricated steel necessary for the Coega project, Bateman executive director Dr Stephen Meijers said, speaking at the Southern African Institute of Steel Construction Workshop 2002.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Southern African aluminium smelters take shape
The world’s largest resources group BHP Billiton is still on track to bring two of its aluminium smelter expansion projects to fruition.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

R430-million smelter equipment contract is awarded
The largest manufacturer of machinery and equipment for primary aluminium smelters in the world, ECL of France, has been awarded a R430-million contract to supply 144 equipped superstructures, four pot-tending machines, two anode jacking frames, four raising runway beams and a furnace-tending machine to BHP Billiton’s Hillside III expansion project in Richards Bay.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Jhb firm wins R30m follow-up contract
Following its successful completion of a R40-million low-voltage contract and electrical installation at the first phase of BHP Billiton’s Mozal project, near Maputo in Mozambique, Johannesburg-based company RBF Technology has won an additional R30-million contract for the supply of low-voltage distribution boards, motor control centres and programmable logic controller panels for the second phase of the project.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Big benefits from engineering collaboration
The collaboration between two well-established participants in the design of the infrastructure of the Bakwena Platinum Highway has been crucial to the success of its construction, GMKS executive chairman Trueman Goba tells Engineering News on behalf of the Bakwena Engineering Joint Venture (BEJV).
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Toll-road construction speeds ahead
Almost a year into the Bakwena Platinum Highway project, some 30% of the initial construction – which translates to R2,1-billion of the R3-billion funding for the project – of the highway has been completed.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Airport expansion, Western Cape, South Africa.
Airports Company South Africa (Acsa) is set to spend more than R500-million over the next five years at Cape Town International Airport to expand and improve the infrastructure to meet the growing needs of the aeronautical industry.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Johannesburg International Airport domestic terminal

New terminal aims to handle 12-million passengers a year
A BRAND new R450m domestic terminal is being developed for Johannesburg International Airport to cater for up to 12-million passengers a year about double the number presently being handled. It is scheduled to reach full domestic capacity by 2010 to 2012, depending on future growth figures. The Johannesburg International Airport upgrade is taking place over about 85000m².
(©www.bday.co.za)

Joburg domestic terminal in operation by year-end
The R460-million upgrade of the domestic terminal at Johannesburg International Airport (JIA) is due for completion by the end of the year.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Project management JV rises to logistical challenge
The successful management of the R450-million, 80 000m2 new domestic terminal at Johannesburg International Airport (JIA) has been a logistical challenge, Turner & Townsend partner Robin Jones informs Engineering News.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

R384m main contract 80% complete
The single largest contract for the domestic terminal upgrade at Johannesburg International Airport is a R384-million contract for the construction of the new terminal and for the elevated roads.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Black firm earns wings during JIA expansion
The contracts for the extensions to the multistorey parkade (MSP) and the construction of the new domestic pier at Johannesburg International Airport (JIA) are being undertaken by Fikile Stocks, a joint venture between Fikile Construction, a 100% black-owned company, and Stocks Building Africa, which has a 28% black economic empowerment shareholding.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

A warm African welcome for domestic voyagers
Sunlight, transparency and African warmth are what the architects of the new domestic terminal at Johannesburg International Airport hope passengers and visitors will experience when entering the building.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

Back to Index

 
RETAIL ROUNDUP
 

Woolworths influences revamp of Cavendish
CAVENDISH Square, the regional shopping and entertainment centre in Cape Town's southern suburbs, is undergoing a R90m refurbishment, primarily driven by the relocation of the Claremont Woolworths outlet into the centre. Construction started yesterday, and is scheduled to end next February.
(©www.bday.co.za)

DEPARTMENT STORE BLUES Owners seek alternative anchors
Anchor used to be another name for department store, but no longer. When General Growth Properties renovated Milwaukee’s Mayfair Mall recently, it decided against adding department stores, opting instead to bring in restaurants and specialty retail to join an anchor lineup that included Barnes & Noble, Boston Store, General Cinema and Marshall Field’s.
(©www.icsc.org)

Still heading for the mall
Time and money spent in the mall holds steady, ICSC survey reveals
Mall shopping trends are remaining stable, according to ICSC’s seventh annual compilation of consumer patterns at regional and super-regional centers. Generally, the 2000-2001 data show continuing stability in such variables as the number of mall visits, the duration of each visit, the stores shopped and the amount spent.
(©www.icsc.org)

Technology Showcase
Cutting energy costs, market analysis software and more...
(©www.icsc.org)

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Business Incentives
Cash Grants
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Competitive Enhancement
Development Finance
Empowerment
Export facilitation
Human resources
Investment incentives
Matching grants
Sectoral
Small, Medium
Social Benefit
Tax Incentives
Technology (research
Tourism
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)
Business Opportunities

Government Tender Bulletin
Trade by Industry
SA Business Brief
Worldwide telephone directories

 
HOUSING NEWS AND LAND ISSUES
 

Extend deadline for some land claims, pleads group
THE Border Rural Committee, a nongovernmental organisation for the landless backed by the Council of Churches in the Eastern Cape has called on government to extend the deadline for certain land claims to allow victims of betterment removals to lodge land claims.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Workers become 30% shareholders in vineyard
CAPE TOWN Land reform has reached another milestone in Western Cape with the empowerment of 56 workers from Goedemoed Farm, Vredendal, who have become 30% shareholders in a 50ha vineyard being established near the Olifants River.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Franschhoek turns into a model of sorts
FOR most of its 320-year existence the picturesque town of Franschhoek in a valley in the heart of the Western Cape winelands has been a textbook example of separate development. Ironically, although it was established in the 1680s by French Huguenot settlers who had fled European religious intolerance, the town evolved into a model of apartheid racial intolerance.
(©www.bday.co.za)

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NEWS FROM AFRICA
 

Farmers take Harare government to court
THE commercial farms crisis in Zimbabwe in which about 3000 farmers have been officially ordered to stop operating took a dramatic twist yesterday as two property owners took government to court. Commercial Farmers' Union (CFU) spokesman Ben Freeth said two wheat growers filed an urgent application in the high court yesterday, seeking interim relief against a 45day ultimatum that expired on Monday.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Senegal lets EU boats fish in its waters
The European Union (EU0 said earlier this week that its boats would be allowed to return to Senegalese waters after it won fishing rights for the next four years.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

SA is building phone density on continent
AFTER seven years of marketing cellular telephony in the competitive local market, SA mobile operators are applying their experience in other parts of the continent and are increasing the density of telephones in some places.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Nepad is under fire from African experts
CALGARY As President Thabo Mbeki and other African leaders geared up yesterday to seek support from the Group of Eight (G-8) for the New Partnership for Africa's Development (Nepad), a group of African scholars and experts released their most critical appraisal of Nepad yet.
(©www.bday.co.za)

No one trumpets SA's successes in Lesotho
The future success of both SADC and Nepad may require a more hegemonic role ONE of the most remarkable things about the peaceful completion of Lesotho's recent general election has been how SA's foreign policy success has been downplayed.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Mozambique: cause for Afro-optimism
The African continent, as well as the international donor community, are desperate for a success story to demonstrate the possibility of economic and political turnaround on a continent riddled with turmoil and poverty.
(©www.engineeringnews.co.za)

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VIRUS OR HOAX?

In case you've received an e-mail containing a virus warning please check carefully for a real virus or a hoax. Usually e-mail warnings encouraging you to forward the information to all and sundry are hoaxes. You can make sure by visiting the Virus or Hoax? web site.

If you suspect that you have opened an e-mail containing a virus visit the virus information section on Virus or Hoax? The site also links to free virus-removal programs.

You can also try the BitDefender online virus scanner

FREE ANTI-VIRUS
Free Anti-Virus Protection!
Use our unique offer - AVG 6.0 Free Edition. Download, install and use AVG 6.0 Anti-Virus system to reliably protect your computer and data free of charge. Go to Free Download Page to get more information.
PC PITSTOP
At PC Pitstop they will help you get your PC in top form -- running fast, stable and secure. PC Pitstop runs diagnostics on your PC to identify things that might help improve performance.
Visit PC Pitstop - it's free.

 

 
MINING NEWS
Architectural competitions, etc.
Sanlam Restoration Award: Closing date for receipt of entry forms to Sanlam in Belville, Cape is 12 July 2002 – the PIA office has application forms.
Royal Institute of British Architects (RIBA) – competition hotline – riba.competitions@mail.riba.org
Architecture for Humanity, a non-profit organization that promotes architecture and design solutions to global, social and humanitarian crises, announces its 2002 International Design Competition. For this year’s competition, participants are invited to develop designs for a fully equipped, mobile medical unit and HIV/AIDS treatment centre specifically for use in Africa. The deadline for design submissions is November 1, 2002. Contact Cameron Sinclair csinclair@architectureforhumanity.org

Thanks to the PIA for the information
 

Mining and state strike conciliatory tone
CAPE TOWN Minerals and Energy Minister Phumzile MlamboNgcuka has called on the mining industry to release all property and assets not intended for use as a gesture of goodwill and its commitment to transformation.
(©www.bday.co.za)

SA Chrome shows larger headline loss
SA CHROME & Alloys recorded a rise in headline losses for fiscal 2001 as it worked to build up production with the construction of a 235000 ton per annum ferrochrome plant. The ferroalloy producer, which is 25% owned by the Industrial Development Corporation (IDC) and 35% held by the Royal Bafokeng Nation, progressed with the construction of its facility near Rustenburg and earlier this month successfully commissioned the first of its planned furnaces.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Gold glisters in tough market
In a stock market darkened by a troubled economy and accounting scandals, one investment still shines – gold shares.
(©www.miningweekly.co.za)

Zinc outlook is still gloomy
Despite positive signs of recovery in the world economy, chances of an improvement in zinc’s 15-year price-low are slim, says London-based Standard Corporate Merchant Bank metals analyst Robin Bhar.
(©www.miningweekly.co.za)

Back to Index

 
NEWS FOR ESTATE AGENTS AND HOME OWNERS
 

New homes at: Nautilus Bay
Construction of the first show houses is about to begin at Nautilus Bay Coastal Nature Reserve - 17km west of Mossel Bay -and stands in the first phase of the development are already on sale, at prices from R149000.
(©www.news24.com)

Cape sales show sharp spike in May
More than 1600 residential units were sold in the Western Cape during May - a 46 percent increase on the figure for the same month of 2001.
(©www.news24.com)

Spotlight on: Kyalami Estate
Kyalami, now synonymous with Formula 1 racing in South Africa, is also renowned for its horse shows, country ambience - and a residential estate that is one of the most sought-after addresses in South Africa.
(©www.news24.com)

Information overload looms
Datalining could soon become as big a problem for estate agents and their clients as redlining once was. Only this time, it won't be the banks that draw the lines, but potential homebuyers.
(©www.news24.com)

Colliers International launches in SA
SA company Colliers RMS and its London counterpart, Colliers RH, have established a joint venture in South Africa as part of their plans to market residential investment property around the world.
(©www.news24.com)

Keep a close watch on your equity
Home equity is not just a paper profit - or sometimes loss - on a property purchase. It is a critical measure of the wisdom of the original choice and of current market awareness.
(©www.news24.com)

Put insurance on the agenda
Insurance is an extremely important matter for sectional title bodies corporate, owners and trustees, but is all too often played down or left off the annual general meeting agenda altogether.
(©www.news24.com)

Absa consolidates property units
The Absa Group has consolidated all its core property management and trading activities into one specialised business unit - Absa Real Estate Asset Management (Absa REAM).
(©www.news24.com)

Re/Max named best property franchisor
The Re/Max property group has been named the top real estate franchise in South Africa in the annual Finance Week/Finansies en Tegniek franchise ratings survey.
(©www.news24.com)

Seeff shows 35% turnover growth
Seeff Property Services has recorded R4,2-billion in national sales for the year ending February 2002 - a R1,1-billion increase on the previous financial year.
(©www.news24.com)

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The agent's tool kit...
Homeloan Calculator
Transfer Fees Guide
Bond Registration Costs Guide
Contract for Housing and Minor Works
Contract for the sale of a house
Checklist for Moving Home
Homebuyer's Checklist
Homeseller's Guide


Building Terms

Don't know your architraves from your dados? How about your flaunchings and transoms?
Get to grips with building terms here.
Real Estate Terms
What is your cooling off right? What is an escape clause and when is something sold "voetstoots"?
Get to grips with terms used in property sales agreements here.

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House Hunting Tips: What to look out for
 
SPECIAL REPORTS
 

Many institutions shift their emphasis
THE MBA has established itself as a programme for senior management and managers moving into executive positions, says Mike Davies, director of the business studies unit of the Durban Institute of Technology. "However, many institutions are taking a European focus and are accepting increasingly younger students on their MBA programmes to develop middle managers," he says. "This may be good from a financial perspective, but not necessarily for the programme or the students."
(©www.bday.co.za)

Questions to ask when weighing up the options
THE proliferation of MBAs in the country is cause for concern, as some are of dubious quality. Potential students must weigh up their options carefully before embarking on an MBA programme, says Nick Segal, director of the UCT Graduate School of Business.
(©www.bday.co.za)

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ECONOMIC INDICATORS
 
The indicators as on
June 28 2002 at 10:46 PM
This week
23/06/02
Rand/$
10.2700
10.2370
Rand/£
15.7367
15.3176
Rand/€
10.1796
9.9197
R150
11.870%
11.830%
Gold/oz
$314.25
$323.10
Gold index
2904.15
3200.35
JSE All Share
10657.73
10815.08

 

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Nafcoc group turns against Sacob merger
THE balance of power in black business organisation Nafcoc has shifted towards opponents of a merger with the SA Chamber of Business (Sacob), with the defection yesterday of key officials to a splinter group headed by African Rainbow Minerals executive chairman Patrice Motsepe.
(©www.bday.co.za)

Photomail is in development in SA
FUNDAMENTAL changes are about to happen in the cellular communication market with the introduction of general package radio service (GPRS), which will enable mobile networks to move beyond pure voice to the delivery of mobile data services.
(©www.bday.co.za)

 
ASAQS NEWS
 

Port Elizabeth Quantity Surveyors, Wins Monthly Award
Three Partners, Ms Ncedesa Ncapai, Messrs Colyn Myles and Grant Hechter of Siseko Quantity Surveyors & Valuers have been selected as monthly winners in the Business Partners Entrepreneur of the Year Competition.
The three entrepreneurs, supported by eight qualified staff members, have managed to establish two successful practices in Port Elizabeth and East London over a short period of time – and have achieved excellent results.
Click here to read more in our new Who's Who section

Time to get your CPD portfolio together
The current cycle of the Continuing Professional Development program closes on 30 June 2002. Registered quantity surveyors have 30 days to submit their portfolio of CPD activities to the EduTech Centre in PE. We have designed some forms in MSEXcel and MsWord format to ease the pain! The forms can be downloaded from the CUG. Click on "CPD" to gain access to the forms and the CPD booklet.

Legalese 101- Part Two
This is the second part of a two-part look at common legal terms/concepts engineers encounter in a contract.
In the first part of this article, we examined legalese concepts relating to mediation and conflict resolution. Part 2 addresses terms found in most contract documents.
Note: This site requires free registration in order to access information
(©www.cmdfirstsource.com)

E-MAIL ADDRESSES !!!!!!
In future the Chapter will distribute all notices, newsletters, invitations, etc. to members via E-mail. Obviously this can't be done if we don't have the E-mail addresses of ALL the members. Members are requested to E-mail their name and E-mail address to bert@netgro.co.za with GAUTENG MEMBER as the SUBJECT.

All E-mail addresses received before 30 June 2002 will be in a lucky draw and the winner will win a NORTON INTERNET SECURITY program, which includes NORTON ANTI-VIRUS 2000

Remember: Visit the ASAQS website for new updates!

New members to the CUG

KC Maiwashe
Ron Singh
Geoff Turner
Gert Jordaan
Chris Steffen

Please note that your registration to the CUG will remain in force as long as you remain a member of ASAQS and there is no need to register every year. If you have not received an e-mail confirming your registration contact ASAQS.

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Did you hear?

The poor guy got G.A.S.H.

A man returns from a trip to Amsterdam and is feeling very ill. He goes to see his doctor and is immediately rushed to the hospital to undergo a series of tests.

The man wakes up after the tests in a private room at the hospital and the phone by his bed rings.

"This is your doctor," says the voice on the phone. "We have the results back from your tests, and I'm sorry, you have an extremely contagious and deadly sexually transmitted disease known as G.A.S.H.

"G.A.S.H?" replies the patient. "What the hell is that?"
"It's a combination of gonorrhea, AIDS, syphilis, and herpes," explains the doctor.

"My gosh, Doc!" screams the man in a panic, "what are we going to do?"

"Well we're going to put you on a diet of pizza, pancakes and pita bread," says the doctor matter-of-factly.

"Will that cure me?"

"Well no," says the doctor, "but it's the only food that will fit under the door."

 
 
 
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